Jan 14, 2010

What Is A Good Listener?

A good listener avoids using the Roadblocks and instead sticks to listening. As a good listener, you DO WANT to:
  • Tune out your own thoughts and feelings.
  • Turn off the radio, TV or computer
  • Face the person, give him/her your full attention and keep eye contact (if appropriate).
  • Tune in to what the other person is saying and feeling.
  • Give feedback to the other person about your understanding of what s/he is saying and feeling.
As a good Active Listener, you DON'T WANT to:
  • Talk about yourself.
  • Change the subject.
  • Keep glancing around the room or looking at your watch.
  • Tell the other person that a similar thing happened to you.
  • Act like you understand what a person is saying or feeling when you really don't.
  • Use any of the 12 Roadblocks.
*Excerpt from Dr. Thomas Gordon's F.E.T. Young Adult Resource Book

1 comment:

  1. This is all just my opinion but I tend to disagree with tuning out your own thoughts and feelings, since I think those are very important when listening. Not saying you talk about them because you're slistening, but don't tune them out. I've found that if I keep looking around the room or at my iPhone, then it probably means the other person is also tuned out of their thoughts and feelings as well. Typically, if one person is dissociated, the other often becomes dissociated too.


Thanks for commenting! - P.E.T.