At those times when one of us cannot change to meet the other's needs, let us acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine--neither will lose, both will win.
The Gordon Model teaches a non-power alternative to the two win-lose methods. It's called Method III--a method in which each conflict is seen as a problem to be solved. The people who have a conflict with each other--parent and child, spouses, coworkers--talk together in search of a solution that is acceptable to both so that no one loses; both win.*
*Excerpt from Dr. Thomas Gordon's F.E.T. Adult Resource book
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