One of the number one complaints we hear from parents is that their kids don't do as their told and that they disobey "the rules." On the other hand, when using P.E.T. methods to set rules parents find more often than not, that these same kids end up adhering to the rules that are set. But why is this so? What is the key difference in setting rules the "traditional" way versus setting rules the P.E.T. way?
Like most people, when children are ordered to do things without reason or having any say in the matter, you might have a pretty hard time getting them to follow through without feeling (at least) some resistance from them. Telling children to follow the rules "because I said so" or "because I know what's best for you" or even "because I am the grown-up" is a classic form of flexing your parental power in the relationship. And in all relationships with an imbalance of power, you will find that the subservient will grow increasingly resentful of the controller. Time after time, the use of power always ends up failing in the long run.
After all, it is an innate human characteristic to want to feel in control of our own lives and behavior.
With P.E.T., Dr. Gordon founded a new way of setting rules so that the needs of everyone are considered and at the same time, things get done. The six-step process of Method III allows all parties involved to come together to discuss the needs are of everyone and what needs to get done. The reason why Method III is so highly effective is that it utilizes the theory of the principle of participation.
The principle of participation states that an individual is much more motivated to carry out a decision when they have participated in the decision-making process.
Makes sense, huh? We thought so too.
Try it at home and let us know how it works! For more detailed information on what the six steps of Method III are, check out our article here: Get What You Need Every Time.