What Are Some Common Mistakes in Active Listening?

COMMON MISTAKES IN ACTIVE LISTENING

The good news is that your Active Listening does not need to be perfect to work; however, you can make refinements and increase your success by understanding and avoiding these common Active Listening mistakes.

These are the eight most typical mistakes; notice that each error has a counterpart error in the opposite direction.

Here are the definitions and examples of the common mistakes.

TEENAGER: "I can't believe my new teacher. What a jerk! What stupid, dumb rules he has."

EXAGGERATING:

Intensifying the feelings being expressed.

"You really hate that teacher's guts."

ADDING:

Generalizing or expanding the scope of what the child is expressing.

"You feel he's a lousy teacher."

RUSHING AHEAD:

Anticipating the child's next thoughts.

"And so you're probably wishing they'd fire him."

ANALYZING:

Interpreting underlying motives; "psychoanalyzing" the child.

"Maybe you're upset because you're under so much pressure getting ready for finals."

MINIMIZING:

Reducing the intensity of the child's feelings.

"You're a bit bothered by your new teacher."

LEAVING OUT:

Reducing or skipping the pertinent facts expressed by the child.

"You're pretty upset today."

LAGGING BEHIND:

Not keeping up with the child's communication or continuing when the child is finished talking.

"You were saying a couple of minutes ago that..."

PARROTING:

A near word-for-word repetition of the child's communication.

"You just can't believe your new teacher. You think he's a jerk, and is rules are stupid."*

*Excerpt from Dr. Thomas Gordon's P.E.T. Participant Workbook