Do You Use Any of These Coping Responses?

Coping Responses: Fight, Flight, Submit

There are many ways people cope with being controlled. Most of them fit into the three coping styles listed below.

1. Fighting: resisting control, getting back at the controller in different ways, trying to come out as a winner with the controller being the loser.

2. Escaping: avoiding or running away from control--keeping thoughts within yourself or actually leaving the scene.

3. Submitting: giving in or giving up and doing just as the controller demands--and then resenting yourself and disliking the controller.

Here is an example of each of the coping styles using the following illustration:

Your teacher gets angry at some of the students in your class for continually goofing off and suddenly announces there will be a big test tomorrow.

1. You argue with the teacher that it isn't fair to punish the whole class. (Fight)
2. You don't go to that class the next day. (Flight)
3. You go home and study and take the test even though you think it's totally unfair. (Submit)

Read the following list of coping behaviors and keep a mental note of any of the ones you have used or now use:

1. Lying
2. Bossing, bullying
3. Aggressive arguing
4. Blaming others
5. Cheating, tattling
6. Feeling resentful, angry, hostile
7. Being submissive
8. Striking back, retaliating
9. Resisting, rebelling
10. Confirming, afraid to try something new*

*Excerpt from Dr. Thomas Gordon's F.E.T. Young Adult Resource Book