When problems arise, it can be our initial instinct to solve the issue in the fastest way possible. While many parents are quite skilled in the speediness of their dealing with heated conflicts, the effectiveness of their solution leaves much to be questioned.
Instead of coming up with the quickest way to still troubled waters, try instead to listen for what the true need is. Active Listening is an incredibly powerful and effective communication skill that can change the way that we deal with our problems and the problems of others. Over time, practice and skill, the psychology behind Active Listening builds bonds that are closer, more trusting and more loving.
As every human is entitled to get their basic needs met, so are all children. While your 8-year-old might be throwing her entire box of toys around the room, she very likely might be in need of some love and attention. Although this behavior is not acceptable by most, parents should realize that her need here is not to throw things around the room. Her need is a deeper, emotional one.
When needs are uncovered with Active Listening, problem solving goes much smoother and results last much longer.
For more on Active Listening, please visit our article here: http://www.gordontraining.com/wp-content/uploads/ActiveListening_RogersFarson.pdf
by: Selena Cruz George, Program Manager