Aug 26, 2009

What happens when Method III doesn't work?

Need a quick refresher on what Method III is?

The Six Steps of Method III
I. Define Needs
II. Brainstorm Solutions
III. Evaluate Solutions
IV. Choose Solution
V. Implement Solution
VI. Check Results

Now that we have quickly went over the Six Steps of Method III, what happens if these steps don't work?

Your success with Method III will increase with time as you become more and more skillfull with the process and your Active Listening, I-Messages and Gear Shifting skills become more natural.

When Method III does not work, it is usually related to one of these factors:
  • The skill, experience and comfort level of the parent is lacking.
WHAT TO DO - continue to develop your skills; use Method III in No Problem Area decision making, e.g. planning for a fun weekend and use it first on small problems before taking on big ones.
  • There are clear limits of time and/or resources or the chance for physical harm is imminent.
WHAT TO DO - explain the situation, e.g. must leave now because there are only 30 minutes before your flight leaves, etc., take action but make the commitment to use the process when time or resources are more plentiful.
  • The child or other person is not ready because they are "flooded" by built up mistrust, anger, resentment or other strong feelings.
WHAT TO DO - before you try Method III, invest time in Active Listening to the child and in sending I-Messages to improve the relationship.

These are just a few factors when Method III doesn't work. Learn more of these tips from Dr. Thomas Gordon's, Parent Effectiveness Training book.

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