tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78794544109288894262024-03-04T23:22:21.663-08:00Parent Effectiveness Training: The BlogA free resource for parents interested in improving their relationships with their children to find out more about the parenting skills taught in the program, Parent Effectiveness Training.Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.comBlogger296125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-29202546984402343452014-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:002014-06-17T16:27:02.272-07:00The Real Reason Why Kids "Give Up" Learning an Instrument
We're lucky and honored to feature many of our P.E.T. Instructors as "guest bloggers" here on the P.E.T. Blog. Check out what Certified Instructor - Jen Kovarovic - has to say about her complementing roles as a P.E.T Instructor and as a violin teacher.
In addition to being an authorized P.E.T. instructor, I am a Suzuki violin teacher, instructing budding musicians as young as age three. A Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-24670844200116384112014-04-08T12:02:00.000-07:002014-04-08T12:02:44.014-07:00Disclosure Versus DisarrayGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-54652411298450327092014-02-24T15:52:00.000-08:002014-02-25T13:49:11.210-08:00What This Child Wished For
One of our Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) Instructors in Australia shared a heart-warming note to Santa written by her 11-year-old daughter, Aithne.
If only all parents could read this one...
Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-38967956301712574112014-01-30T12:41:00.000-08:002014-01-30T12:41:20.488-08:00The Characteristics of a Helping Relationship
image via Wikipedia.com
In almost every phase of our lives - at home, at school, at work - we find ourselves under the rewards and punishments of external judgments. "That's good;" "that's naughty;" "that's worth an A;" "that's failure;" "that's good counseling;" "that's poor counseling." Such judgments are a part of our lives from infancy to old age. I believe they have a certain social Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-23252756307716873072013-12-11T13:05:00.001-08:002013-12-11T13:18:23.697-08:00Christmas Gifts You Wish They Hadn't Gotten The ugly Bill Cosby sweater, the delicious fruit cake, the...gulp...Crocs! You know where I'm going with this - Every year, poor suckers everywhere become the reluctant recipients of such undesirable gifts. You don't quite know how to handle it, but the "put-a-smile-on-your-face-and-say-thank-you" voice in your head always chimes in. Maybe it's the hesitancy of shattering the look of excitement Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-5537211338671851712013-09-04T14:07:00.002-07:002013-09-04T14:07:19.195-07:00
Greetings Fans o' PET!
Some of you know what this is, some of you might not. I think it's quite something. If you'd like a "fancy" copy sent to you via the post office, we'd be happy to mail you one. Just email us and we will be happy to send you one.
Okay, without further delay, here's one of Tom's masterpieces. Enjoy. :)
A Credo for My RelationshipsGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-67527213930493637442013-07-31T11:52:00.000-07:002013-07-31T11:52:10.836-07:00Learning to Loosen the Apron Strings
My nephew is three years old and full of insatiable curiosity, as all children his age seem to be. Most members of my family imagine that watching him for an evening is not for the weak at heart, but personally, I jump at the opportunity to take care of him while my sister is away. He turns on and off the faucet to just to watch the water disappear through the drain. He walks through bushes Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-69384168738203496042013-07-18T16:31:00.002-07:002013-07-18T16:32:41.486-07:00Talk Less, Listen Moreby Gordon Training International Master Trainer, Steve Emmons
People often ask me, if you could only give parents one piece of advice about helping their children deal with problems, what would it be? My answer is; “Talk less and listen more.”
In all of our relationships we experience conflicts and problems; life can be messy. In spite of our hopes and dreams for a happy, trouble-free Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-53591972183142104322013-07-11T16:30:00.001-07:002013-07-11T16:30:35.470-07:00How Children REALLY React To Controlby Dr. Thomas Gordon
When one person tries to control another, you can always expect some kind of reaction from the controlee. The use of power involves two people in a special kind of relationship - one wielding power, and the other reacting to it.
This seemingly obvious fact is not usually dealt with in the writings of the dare-to-discipline advocates. Invariably, they leave the child out of Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-84736872695750545272013-05-16T16:57:00.000-07:002013-05-16T16:57:01.081-07:00The Problem With "Quick-Fix" ParentingMany will say that this day in age, people have traded slow and old-fashioned ways of doing things for anything that can be done easier, faster and cheaper. In reality, we've been doing this all along. From the invention of the wheel to laptop computers, humans have been attempting to reinvent cheap convenience since...forever. And we don't stop at technology, either.
A distressed Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-17107771450247710942013-04-10T16:05:00.002-07:002013-04-10T16:05:57.363-07:00How Can Children Be Trusted to Use Their Own Judgment?
By Certified P.E.T. Instructor, Catherine Dickerson, LCSW, Lic #24454
Recently, several parents and teachers have asked, "How on earth can a child know what to do if we don't tell them?!" How can children whose unacceptable behaviors seem completely natural to them know what you need them to do instead?
The answer is actually pretty simple: they know what to do because you've been Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-65675840117366203442013-03-18T15:24:00.000-07:002013-03-18T15:24:50.639-07:00P.E.T. Tip of the MonthFor your I-Messages to be effective, you often need to spend more time active listening to the other person’s responses than you spend giving your I-Message.
Remember the Gear-Shifting diagram (page 60 in the P.E.T. workbook)?
A clear I-Message is a powerful tool. You get to think seriously about your needs and stand up for yourself with clarity and confidence. No blaming, directing or Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-67061303453267806882013-03-13T15:00:00.000-07:002013-03-13T15:01:11.643-07:00How P.E.T. Helped Our Family Handle An Incident Of Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is a phenomenon that is unique to this generation and it personally touched my family when my daughter was 10 years old and in the 5th grade. It is a form of bullying that has evolved due to the rapid onset of our use of electronic technology and the arrival of social media sites in the late 1990's. According to Internetsaftey.org (http://www.internetsafety.org), "Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-67842881496679711102013-03-07T16:59:00.003-08:002013-03-07T16:59:41.996-08:00The P.E.T. YouTube ChannelWe recently uploaded a TON of fresh new P.E.T. videos on YouTube, including some clips from the T.V. show "Everybody Loves Raymond" from an episode about P.E.T.!
Here are just a few of the videos that you'll find on the P.E.T. YouTube Channel:
For more videos, subscribe to the P.E.T. YouTube channel HERE.
Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-59937131234986717952013-02-28T16:58:00.002-08:002013-02-28T16:58:27.679-08:00Date Night: Stoking the Hearth of the Home
By Judy Arnall
In the movie, Date Night, the characters played by Steve Carell and Tina Fey, are in a long term relationship that they try to spice up by going out to dinner once a week on a date night. The trouble is that their date night is, monotonously predictable: they go to the same restaurant and order the same food on the same night. They start to notice the sameness when Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-57804556898801094762013-02-07T16:52:00.001-08:002013-02-07T16:52:44.392-08:00One Mother's Testimony on the P.E.T. Workshop
Our P.E.T. Instructor in Bend, OR - Natalie Hull- was kind enough to share some feedback that she received from a participant after her most recent workshop concluded.
Here is what one mother wrote:
The Parent Effectiveness Training dramatically influenced the way I interact with my two teenagers and it significantly altered my relationships in positive ways. Before I took the course, my Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-35703035494402753552013-01-24T16:38:00.003-08:002013-01-24T16:42:36.653-08:00Can You Active Listen in a Text Message?
In a world continually swamped with technology, it's no surprise that the average person now spends more time typing than they do talking over the course of an average workday. Text messaging spares no subject matter. Personally, I have shared deep sentiments, philosophical debates and even conflicts, all from my beloved iPhone. With P.E.T. in mind, Active-"Listening" is very much a possibilityGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-69012128836636988162013-01-16T15:58:00.000-08:002013-01-16T15:58:47.991-08:00I Am Adam Lanza’s Therapist
By Dr. Faye Snyder,
Psychologist, marriage and family therapist and forensic evaluator
Less than one week before 20-year-old Adam Lanza killed twenty children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut I sat with eight children in my RAD Group (children with Reactive Attachment Disorder) who shared a few things in common withGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-11452996376240331262013-01-09T16:36:00.000-08:002013-01-09T16:36:15.104-08:00Four Stories About the Beginnings of Violence
Story #1: Born to a teenage mother who landed in jail shortly after, this little boy was given up to be raised by his devoutly religious aunt and her emotionally abusive husband, who made him attend his first day of school wearing girls clothing, in an attempt to teach him to "be more of a man." After several years of abuse with his aunt and uncle, his mother came back to claim him but would Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-54409378800085278102012-11-15T16:51:00.000-08:002012-11-15T16:51:29.719-08:00The Problem with Authoritarian Parenting
As a sequel to our last post (and newsletter) about the problems with permissive parenting, now couldn't be a more perfect opportunity to summarize the problems with strict parenting. Much has been published about the negative affects of authoritarian styles of parenting, so I'll aim to outline as many broad-spectrum points about the subject as possible.
If permissive parenting is described asGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-3755946073773778902012-11-08T16:53:00.002-08:002012-11-08T16:53:26.784-08:00The Problem With Permissive Parenting
The most common misconception about Parent Effectiveness Training is that it encourages parents to "give-in" to their child's every desire. The idea that permissiveness is the alternative to power is a false dichotomy in itself. While permissiveness is, by definition, the opposite of strict, these options are not the only two that parents have. Moreover, the idea of meeting somewhere in the Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-68835589036342680612012-10-18T17:05:00.001-07:002012-10-18T17:05:03.056-07:00Three Outcomes to What Happens When Parents Use Hurtful Words
We've all heard the (very old) familiar saying about sticks and stones breaking bones, but words not hurting us, right? I'm guessing that this phrase was coined somewhere around the same time that the idea of the world being flat was a logical theory. How archaic and grossly wrong they both were!
Another age-old theory is the idea that children should be verbally "put in their place," Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-36009331183206170312012-10-04T16:44:00.001-07:002012-10-04T16:44:36.557-07:00No Punishment?Recently, we had an interested question sent to us on our Facebook page:
"Does this program promote no punishment for bad behavior? I don't get this program?"
We responded, and would like to elaborate to our readers here.
First off, to simply say "no," that P.E.T. is not an advocate of punishment would only be giving half of the answer. The use of the term "bad behavior" is a major Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-8997146154988290092012-09-19T16:03:00.000-07:002012-09-19T16:03:14.038-07:00Has PET Been Taught in Religious Institutions?Because the Gordon Model aligns so well with many religious values, churches have played a substantial role in making P.E.T. and other Gordon programs available. P.E.T. has been taught at the following religious organizations:
• The Uniting Church in Australia
• Presbyterian
• Methodist
• Baptist
• Jewish synagogues
• 30,000 Lutherans thru Missouri Synod (paid in part by Aid Association forGordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7879454410928889426.post-80931378316199514002012-09-12T16:54:00.000-07:002012-09-12T16:55:45.737-07:00To All Children, Their Parents Are First Seen As GodsAn excerpt from the P.E.T. book
This "psychological size" differential exists not only because children see their parents as bigger and stonger, but also as more knowledgeable, more competent. To the young child there seems to be nothing her parents to not know, nothing they cannot do. She marvels at the breadth of their understanding, the accuracy of their predictions, the wisdom of their Gordon Training Internationalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00826019243464690334noreply@blogger.com0